Being Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable; One of the World’s Most Sought After Skills
People will go to the extremes to figure out how to lessen the anxiety of new situations, such as interviews, relocation, and many other major changes. Parents search high and low, trying to understand how to parent, deal with uncomfortable situations and deal with different issues concerning mental health, physical health, and intricate family dynamics. Children try to make meaning of the world around them, especially when it comes to making new friends, attending a new school, starting a new sport, or paving their way through family issues, grief, and much more.
We are all intricate pieces of the world that, when put together, create the society in which we live. No day is the same, even if you’re someone who craves stability by driving the same route and doing the same routine daily. I always thought I could avoid change if I didn’t want it to happen. That I could always have a perfectly calculated answer, decision, and path ahead of me. That if I thought quickly enough on my feet, I’d have the right answer and the perfect next move. The anxiety I suffered from for many years came from the idea I planted into my head that I could avoid change and uncomfortable situations. I think many of us, whether we decide to admit it or not, believe we can avoid these uncomfortable situations, unfair situations, and situations filled with healing and growth. None of us asked for issues, none of us asked for these situations to happen to us, sometimes life just simply happens.
New steps in life, whether it be attending college, getting your first job, getting married, having a child, starting a business, moving from home, learning a new language, or beginning a health journey, are all things are can be very intimidating. Especially when we all have different life paths. The person next to you may be in an uncomfortable situation, but it may look nothing like yours. It may seem greater, yet it may seem smaller. Having empathy for those around us and the situations and steps they are going through is one of the most wonderful traits a person can have.
Something that has hurt you doesn’t need pawned off to the person next to you, wishing it had happened to them. A child’s first day of elementary school is just as nerve-wracking and important as an adult’s first day in medical school. Uncomfortable situations are just as they sound, uncomfortable. Once I started to understand that it was actually myself who made uncomfortable situations so anxiety-filled and unbearable, I realized that uncomfortable situations can actually be enjoyed. The first day of school may have first in it, but there is also a hidden last. There is only one for that period of your life. For those months or school year, that first is quickly turned into a last. Interviews, if you get the interview and you get the job, that’s a total score, but if you don’t, you now have more practice. Not only with interviews but with being uncomfortable. Traveling alone may seem frightening, but no matter where you go or what language you speak, the world is filled with kind eyes. Mannerisms may change, language may change, but at the core, there is always love, a way to indulge in meals, a way to show care and empathy, and a way to enjoy.
Situations are uncomfortable because we do not know the outcome and because the variables within the situation are foreign to us. Yet if we change our perspective and look at these situations as a way to better understand ourselves, our world, and the situation, we can lessen our anxiety within it. Worrying doesn’t solve problems; stressing about things you can’t control is not only negative mentally but also physically.
For a long time, I was told that going on anxiety medication was the best thing for my anxiety, but I never wanted to be on medication. When I had anxiety, I basically let the world eat me alive. I gave myself mentally to my worries and fears about the future and the present. I scared myself to such a substantial extent that I felt paralyzed in many situations and did not want to do new things, make new friends, or do anything out of the ordinary.
Finding ways to express my thoughts through writing, exercise, and more was a huge help. I also focus on things I can depend on, such as myself, my friends, and my family. You can even focus on little things such as the sunrise and sunset and finding your favorite color throughout the day.
From there, I started pursuing my dreams despite not knowing the outcome, despite not knowing who would be there next to me, and despite not knowing what the journey entailed. You don’t need to travel to Europe to discover the world or push yourself out of your comfort zone. Moving from home even ten minutes away teaches you a miraculous amount. Even getting a new job is filled with new variables and different situations where you learn to be okay with not knowing, and you learn to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. Push yourself to do new things, push yourself into uncomfortable situations, push yourself to lose the idea that you need validation from those around you, and push yourself to lose the notion that you need external support to do what you want.
It is your choice to choose how you let situations treat you and how you treat yourself in those situations. It’s up to you to become your own best friend and biggest support system. It is up to you to discover the person you want to be and the world you want to live in. We aren’t trees that are stuck in one place forever; how we view life is through our perspective, so if you want to change, change the lens you view through. Trust me when I say you’ll become utterly unstoppable. Being uncomfortable with being uncomfortable has been and will always be one of the world’s most sought-after skills.